Episode 5: Networking: How to Stop Performing and Start Connecting
How you think about networking can completely change the opportunities it creates. In this episode of Full of Ourselves, Anna Campbell and Heidi Hinda Chadwick explore why networking isn't about performing, pitching or collecting business cards, but about building genuine relationships. They share practical ways to network authentically as an introvert or extrovert, overcome the fear of walking into a room full of strangers, and create connections that can lead to opportunities months or even years later. If networking makes you feel awkward or inauthentic, this conversation will help you approach it with more confidence, curiosity and ease.
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If the word networking makes you want to find the nearest exit, you're not alone.
For many entrepreneurs, freelancers and business owners, networking can feel awkward, transactional and exhausting. The pressure to introduce yourself, explain what you do in a polished sentence and somehow leave with new clients can make even the most confident person feel uncomfortable.
But what if networking isn't actually about selling yourself?
In this episode of the Full of Ourselves podcast, Anna Campbell and Heidi Hinda Chadwick explore a different way of thinking about networking: one that's built on curiosity, genuine connection and authentic relationships rather than performance.
If you're an introvert, a seasoned business owner or someone who's avoided networking events altogether, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on building meaningful professional relationships.
Why Networking Still Matters
Many of us assume networking is only useful if we're actively looking for clients.
In reality, networking creates opportunities that often appear months, or even years, later.
Anna shares how, after moving to Edinburgh knowing virtually no one, networking became the foundation for rebuilding her professional life. Through local events she found teaching opportunities, discovered a co-working space and made connections that eventually led to speaking opportunities years later.
The lesson?
You never know which conversation will become important.
Networking isn't simply about immediate sales. It's about becoming known, building trust and creating relationships that grow over time.
Networking Isn't Just Networking Events
One of the biggest mindset shifts in this episode is recognising that networking happens everywhere.
It might happen:
at a local business event
in an online networking group
while walking your dog
chatting to another parent at the school gates
during a conversation at your hairdresser
at a community event or workshop
Every conversation has the potential to create a connection.
When we stop treating networking as a formal business activity and start viewing it as simply meeting interesting people, the whole experience becomes much less intimidating.
The Real Purpose of Networking
Before attending any networking event, it's worth asking yourself:
Why am I actually going?
Your answer might be:
to meet potential clients
to build your professional network
to find collaborators
to get out of the house after working alone all week
to have conversations with people who understand entrepreneurship
to explore new opportunities
Having a clear intention changes the experience completely.
Rather than measuring success by how many business cards you give out, you can measure it by whether you achieved the reason you went in the first place.
Why Introverts Can Be Brilliant Networkers
Many people assume networking favours extroverts.
Anna challenges this idea.
While large crowds can feel draining for introverts, one-to-one conversations are often where they truly shine.
Instead of trying to stay all evening, she suggests setting yourself a realistic goal:
Have three meaningful conversations.
Leave while your energy is still intact.
Networking doesn't have to mean becoming the loudest person in the room.
It simply means connecting with people in a way that works for you.
Stop Performing. Start Connecting.
One of the biggest themes running through this conversation is the difference between performing and connecting.
Many people arrive at networking events feeling they need to impress everyone.
They rehearse their introduction; worry about saying the right thing and try to appear confident.
But genuine connection happens when we stop performing and simply become interested in other people.
As Heidi explains, people can sense when someone is only focused on what they can gain from the conversation.
The most memorable people aren't always the most polished.
They're often the ones who are genuinely curious.
Why Relationships Matter More Than Sales
Networking works best when viewed as relationship building rather than lead generation.
That relationship might eventually become:
a client
a collaboration
a podcast invitation
a speaking opportunity
a recommendation years later
or simply a supportive friendship with another business owner
Every meaningful opportunity starts with a conversation.
The sale doesn't need to happen immediately.
Don't Forget the Follow-Up
One of the easiest mistakes to make is assuming the networking ends when the event finishes.
In reality, that's often where it begins.
Anna recommends making notes immediately afterwards:
Who did you meet?
What did they mention?
What are they working on?
What did you promise to send them?
Those small details make future conversations much more personal.
Following someone on social media, commenting on their work or sending the resource you promised are all ways of strengthening the relationship long after the event has finished.
The Question Everyone Hates: "So, What Do You Do?"
Few networking questions create more anxiety.
Rather than trying to memorise the perfect elevator pitch, Heidi suggests approaching it differently.
Instead of leading with a job title, start with an idea.
Lead with something intriguing and something that invites curiosity.
Rather than closing the conversation with a label, open the door for another question.
Anna also reminds us that people are often more interested in the transformation you create than the service you deliver.
Instead of focusing on what you do, explain the difference your work makes.
Better Questions to Ask
Instead of asking:
"So what do you do?"
Try asking:
What brought you here today?
What would make today a successful event for you?
What are you looking for right now?
These questions naturally lead to richer conversations and help uncover opportunities to genuinely support one another.
Practical Tips for Nervous Networkers
If networking feels uncomfortable, Heidi shares several simple techniques to calm your nervous system before you arrive.
These include:
Visualising the event going well.
Reminding yourself, "It's totally possible this will be enjoyable."
Taking a moment before entering to reassure yourself that you're safe.
Using simple grounding techniques to help your body relax.
Perhaps most importantly, she reminds listeners that it's perfectly okay to admit you're nervous.
Authenticity often creates connection far faster than pretending to have everything together.
Make Networking Human Again
In a world increasingly dominated by AI, automation and endless online content, genuine human connection has become more valuable than ever.
People don't remember the perfect sales pitch.
They remember how someone made them feel.
When we stop trying to perform and instead focus on listening, curiosity and generosity, networking becomes something very different.
It becomes simply two human beings having a conversation.
And that's often where the best opportunities begin.
Listen to the Episode
If networking has ever felt awkward, forced or overwhelming, this episode will completely change how you think about building professional relationships.
Rather than teaching you how to sell yourself, Anna and Heidi explore how authentic connection creates the opportunities that polished performances never could.
Listen to Season 4, Episode 5 of the Full of Ourselves podcast: "Networking: How to Stop Performing and Start Connecting" and discover why the best networking strategy might simply be showing up as yourself.
useful links
More info - the podcast
Follow us on Instagram @fullofourselvespodcast
Connect with Anna Campbell
https://www.goodgirlrebellion.com/
Instagram @annaccampbell
Anna’s book Good Girl Rebellion: Build the Business, Break the Rules, Be Limitless.
https://www.goodgirlrebellion.com/ggr-book
Connect with Heidi Hinda Chadwick
https://www.heidihindachadwick.com/
Instagram @heidihinda
Book: https://www.lemonjellypress.com/shop/p/the-story-of-the-deer-woman
To stay up to date with Heidi's book launch events: https://heidihinda.substack.com/
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Also, we would LOVE to guest on podcasts and speak on stages all about women entrepreneurs. Get in touch! hello.fullofourselves@gmail.com